Discernment / Right Relationship

In the first episode we introduced the idea of the Invisible Path, or what we call the pathless path. We spoke about it as a journey into the heart rather than a route we can map or follow step by step. We spoke about slowing down, listening, longing and that sense that something deeper is calling us, something that does not quite fit into the way we usually live or think.

And we did not give that journey structure, and that was intentional.

But there is another side to it. A journey with no orientation at all can start to feel vague. It can start to feel watery. People can start to feel like, okay, I hear you, but where does this land in real life. Where does it touch my day, my relationships, my choices, my actual behaviour.

So today we wanted to bring in something simple and contained. Four words.

They are not teachings. They are not rules. They are not practices in the usual sense. They are reference points. They are ways of orienting ourselves so that this inner journey does not become abstract, disconnected, purely conceptual.

The four words are:

Discernment
Right relationship
Inner listening
Embodied integrity

We will introduce them one by one, but I also want to say something upfront.

We are not trying to over define the mystery. We are not trying to pin life down. We are just trying to anchor it. Because without an anchor, this can drift into beautiful language and nothing else. It can become a kind of spiritual fog. And I do not mean that as an insult. I mean it as a warning. We can all do that. We can float.

So these four words are not there to make it smaller. They are there to keep it real.

Why we need signposts at all

On this path, there is no path you can point to and say, follow that and you will arrive. There are many different stations, many different states, body states, heart states, mind states. Sometimes you feel open and clear. Sometimes you feel contracted and confused. Sometimes you feel tender. Sometimes you feel shut down. Sometimes you feel like you are doing well, then something happens and you realise you have no idea what you are doing.

So we can refer to it as a path, but what we are dealing with is, in many respects, the ineffable. That which cannot be grasped, cannot be displayed in 3D, cannot be put in a box.

That is why the signposts matter. They are not instructions. They are not a method. They are reminders. They are ways of checking in.

Because if we do not have anything to check in with, we can convince ourselves of anything. We can justify anything. We can get lost. Or we can stay in our heads forever.

So let’s start with the first word.

1. Discernment

Discernment means the ability to judge well. In the strictest sense, in the everyday sense, in the familiar sense.

It is not some mystical thing. It is not reserved for advanced people. It is basic. It is human.

The difference is that on this path, we use discernment inwardly as well as outwardly.

So when we turn our gaze within, we begin to ask questions like:

What do I value, really
What does it mean to have value as a human being
What does it mean to value other living beings
What does it mean to integrate wants and needs and desires without being driven by them all the time
Can I expand enough to include the welfare of others, not as an idea, but as a lived reality

And then we get practical.

Discernment is not about being right. It is not a moral scoreboard. It is not intellectual analysis that wins arguments. It is not about being perfect.

It is about noticing what happens inside you after you do something.

Because most of us are trained to explain ourselves. We are trained to rationalise. We are trained to say, I had to do that, it was necessary, it made sense, everyone does it, what else could I have done.

And maybe some of those explanations are true. But discernment asks a simpler question.

What was the residue.

After the words you spoke, what happened inside you
After the choice you made, what happened inside you
After the way you treated someone, what happened inside you
After the way you treated yourself, what happened inside you

Did you feel uneasy
Did you feel slightly chaotic inside
Did you feel depleted
Did you feel dissatisfied
Did you feel guilt
Did you feel misalignment

Or did you feel more at ease
More honest
More clean inside
More awake and alive
More in tune

This is where discernment becomes like a lighthouse.

It does not judge you. It just shows you where you are.

And I want to be clear, we are human beings. We take wrong turns. We do things we regret. We repeat patterns. Sometimes we know better and we still do it. That is part of being human.

But discernment gives you an ability to face yourself without collapsing into shame and without drifting into denial.

It gives you a way to say, okay, I did that, and I can feel what it left behind.

And that is where values start to become real.

Values in a world that values every value

We live in a world where values can feel confused. Values have lost a lot of their value. Everything can be justified. Everything can be marketed. Everything can be spun.

So the question becomes, how do we not become disorientated.

Discernment is one of the answers, because it brings you back to lived consequence.

If you are consciously cruel to someone, or to an animal, or to nature, you can justify it all day long in the mind. But what happens when you are alone, when the noise drops, when you lie in bed, when you sit quietly for a moment.

Most people know. It does not feel good. It contaminates. It is a dark cloud. It is a kind of inner distress.

That distress is not there to punish you. It is there to teach you.

It says, something is not aligned.

And yes, life is complex. People are complicated. Situations are not always clean. But still, discernment helps us to learn the inner mechanics of consequence. Action has consequence. Word has consequence. Intention has consequence.

If that is not understood, then everything is up for grabs. Any action, any deed, any word can be justified.

So discernment is a form of inner governance. Not law. Not rule. Not spiritual policing. Inner governance.

And behind that, there is humility.

There is the remembering that everything has a heartbeat. Living things want to live. They want to experience themselves.

If you have one insight into that, even for a brief moment, something begins to flower. It is not overnight. It is a gradual revealment. The layers of the heart mind take time.

But discernment becomes a friend. A guide. A light.

Now the second word.

2. Right relationship

Right relationship means that we come as much as we can from the heart when we are dealing with all aspects of living.

It includes family. It includes your personal relationships. It includes the natural world. It includes your relationship with your work. It includes how you treat your own body. It includes how you treat your own mind.

And again, we are human. We make mistakes. We retreat into old patterns. We trip ourselves up.

But we can wake up again.

We can come fresh and ask, very simply:

Do I stand in good relationship to the earth
Do I stand in good relationship to other human beings
Do I stand in good relationship to all sentient beings, to the best of my ability

Not as a performance. Not as a badge. As a real question.

Why relationship matters on the inner path

Because relationship reveals you.

You can sit alone and have beautiful ideas about compassion, love, humility, sacredness. But relationship is where it is tested. Relationship is where it becomes real.

And most human beings have an inner compass. Even if it is buried, even if it is covered, most people know when they are seriously misaligned.

If we find ourselves constantly going against that compass, and we harm people, and we do not care, and we justify it, we know what it feels like.

It does not feel good. It feels contaminated. It feels like a dark cloak.

So right relationship is not moral obligation. It is not, be good or else. It is more like, be honest about what life is showing you.

And one of the reasons we keep emphasising slowness is because in slowness, you can actually feel your own state. In speed, you can bypass everything. In speed, you can outrun your own heart.

So take a moment. Then take another moment. Do not try to own the moment. Just be in it.

Life starts teaching you.

There are teachings within teachings within teachings. Often the best ones are unspoken. They come from the natural world. They come from silence. They come from watching.

And when something unlocks in the heart, the heart opens more. Then when you open your eyes, you relate from that space to all living things.

And something changes.

Not because you are trying to be virtuous. But because you do not want to cause destruction and chaos in the same way. It begins to lessen. You begin to care. Wonder begins to appear. Reverence begins to appear.

What right relationship looks like in ordinary life

Sometimes people hear “right relationship” and think it means big acts. It does not have to.

It can be small.

You see someone struggling and you do not turn away immediately. You take a breath. You look. You meet them where they are.

Maybe you offer food to a homeless child.
Maybe you notice a stray dog and you pause, just for a moment.
Maybe you speak to someone with a little more care than your mood wanted to allow.
Maybe you do not use someone. Maybe you do not reduce them to a commodity.
Maybe you are honest in a relationship instead of pretending.
Maybe you repair something small.
Maybe you stop and you listen.

That is right relationship.

And it includes the inner relationship too.

Being in good relationship with yourself requires looking inward and being honest about what is going on inside you. Not the story, but the reality.

Inner and outer are not two

There is something deeper here that we keep returning to, and it is simple but it is not easy.

The inner and the outer are not two separate happenings.

Breath teaches this.

You breathe the world in. You breathe the world out. One movement. One phenomenon. Without the one, there is no two.

So when you begin to see that, even briefly, it changes your understanding of relationship.

The inner is the outer.
What you do outwardly affects the interior.
What you do inwardly affects how you move in the world.

So right relationship is not a moral rule. It is an experience of reality.

If you really see connection, care arises naturally.

A small practice to try

If you want something practical, try this for one day.

Before you speak, take one breath.
Before you act, take one breath.

Then ask quietly:

Is this aligned
Will this leave residue
Will this bring ease
Will this bring contraction

Do not judge. Just notice.

That is discernment becoming lived.
That is relationship becoming real.

We will write more on the next two signposts, inner listening and embodied integrity, because they are essential. Discernment and relationship are not enough on their own. You also need the capacity to listen inwardly, and then the capacity to bring what you hear into action without becoming rigid.

But for now, just sit with these two.

Discernment.
Right relationship.

They sound simple. They are simple. But they take you very far.

Thank you for being here.